Kids, I don’t know what’s wrong with these kids today
Kids, who can understand anything they say
Kids, they are disobedient, disrespectful oafs
Noisy, crazy, sloppy, lazy loafers
And while we’re on the subject
Kids, you can talk and talk till your face is blue
Kids, but they still do just what they want to do
Why can’t they be like we were perfect in every way
What’s the matter with kids today
Kids ... I don’t mind the moonlight swims - it’s the loop-da-loop
that hurts
Kids ... How will we ever beat the Russians?
Kids ... I didn’t know what puberty was till I was almost past it
Laughing, singing, dancing, grinning morons
And while we are on the subject
Kids, they are just impossible to control
Kids, with their awful clothes and their rock and roll
Why can’t they dance like we did? What’s wrong with Sammy K.?
What’s the matter with kids today?
(Reprise)
Kids, what the devil is wrong with these kids today
Kids, who could guess they would turn out that way
Why can’t they be like we were, perfect in every way
What’s the matter with kids? What’s the matter with kids?
What’s the matter with kids today?